Oprah interviews pregnant man

[Vincent J. Tamuzza, MD]

I came across this article last month in The Advocate, a gay and lesbian magazine. It's the story of Thomas Beatie, a transgender man who is pregnant. Thomas was born physically female but underwent hormone therapy and a double mastectomy. He decided to keep his uterus and ovaries. Thomas is legally married to a biological female, Nancy, who underwent a hysterectomy years ago due to severe endometriosis. They ultimately decided to have a child, and since Nancy cannot carry a baby, Thomas decided to get pregnant. While he will technically be the child's biological mother, he will raise the child as a father.

I'm not sure how many people are familiar with this story, but I'm sure it will become very well-known after tomorrow's Oprah. People will no doubt feel very strongly on both sides of the issue. I have an inkling that feelings will be mixed, even in the gay, lesbian, and transgender communities.

I don't know if Thomas is the first transgender person to biologically parent a child after transitioning gender, although many people will argue that Thomas has not officially transitioned, since he decided to keep his female reproductive organs. Many people, however, don't understand the complexity of biological gender, gender identity, and gender expression. Thomas might have decided to hold off on a hysterectomy specifically to have children, or he may never decide to have a hysterectomy, but he still identifies as male. For some transgender people, a "full" transition is an absolute necessity for well-being and peace-of-mind. Other transgender people do not feel the need to transition "fully," and might only chose to have certain procedures or therapies done. In the same vein, some transgender people would like to be recognized as their "new" gender, and simply identify themselves as male or female, while others choose labels like "gender-queer." Regardless, gender indentity and gender expression are personal choices that need to be respected.

So what exactly will people be angry about? There will certainly be a population of people who think that anything outside a pregnancy through male-female intercourse is unnatural (even assisted pregnancy). There's not even a chance about changing their minds; but what about everyone else? Admittedly, it takes a moment to wrap one's mind around Thomas' and Nancy's situation. After the issue shock, however, what's the issue? Is it resentment that Thomas has gone public? Is it the fact that our brains can't handle someone so outwardly masculine carrying a child? Is it deep-seated transphobia?

If Thomas had had children before transitioning, no one would have had a problem with him being a parent. Hey, it happens, right? If Nancy had gotten pregnant through artificial insemination, no big deal. If they had decided to adopt an abandoned child, great! But Thomas getting pregnant! How dare he! What is he trying to do? Has he no ethics? How can a child grow up under those twisted conditions?

Why do those questions even come to mind? Is it because Thomas should just be content that he was able to transition? Is it somehow unfair to everyone else in the world that he gets to exist in this in-between gender state, picking and choosing exactly what he wants or doesn't want? I think that's the key. Somehow Thomas' "freedom" angers and scares people. He should be bound to the same laws of nature as everyone else, right? Why should he get to do whatever he wants?

Yeah, because transgender people have it soooo easily. Let's see, they're born in the wrong body. They struggle for years about their gender identity. They face ridicule and discrimination and physical violence. Eventually, they must decide whether or not to go through costly and painful treatments, if they even have that option.

A transgender person has the same right to reproduce as everyone else on the planet. What is it to us if he or she decides to have a child before, during, or after transition? Again, personal choice and situation. But what about the rights of the child, you ask? As long as the child is raised in a loving, supportive home, and gets her needs met, what's the problem?

I don't think Thomas and Nancy are having a child just for the publicity; they simply don't want to be ashamed for something people do everyday, often with far less planning involved. Perhaps Thomas' words from The Advocate article can explain it best: "Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire."

What do you think?

[Sarah]

Amanda, I burst out laughing when Mel Brooks announces that he wants to be "a cocktail waitress!" That's a great clip and I'd never seen it before.

Regarding the pregnancy switch ... all I can think is "WHO CARES!!?!?" Seriously? But maybe that's my liberal tree-hugging hippie coming out. LOL The baby is obviously wanted and loved and the parents are ready for her/him to join their family. What difference does it make if a transgendered man or a biological woman bears the child?

[Amanda]

Here's some thoughts on gender identity from Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas, from back in the day. Check it out, it's good for a chuckle. :)

[Vincent J. Tamuzza, MD]

I watched the interview on Oprah today too, and Thomas seems to be such a sweet, wonderful man. He looks like a loving husband and I think he's ecstatic at the prospect of becoming a father. His stepdaughters were well-spoken and seemed well-adjusted, and their love and support is heartwarming. I must admit that I was momentarily taken aback by the original article, but as I wrote in my blog, I soon realized that Thomas is like everyone else who longs to be a parent. I think it was a smart decision to go public on their terms, especially on a show that reaches millions of people. The show painted a picture of a nice, normal couple, and it humanized an authentic person who could otherwise be vilified as a monster in the tabloids. I wish them the best of luck.

[Amanda]

"Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire."

I couldn't agree more with this--why should sterilization be a typical part of gender reassignment surgery? I'm sure Thomas would happily father a child if it were physically possible, but sadly our bodies don't always follow our desires.

I'm thrilled that such a happy, loving couple is able to bring a child into the world together. Just look at the adoration on Thomas's face...what a fantastic dad he'll make!

[Felisha Griffin]

I have seen the story on some morning shows, and I will have to catch it on Oprah. When I first saw the headlines on TV, I was thinking to myself how is that possible, and finally a man will get to see what a woman goes through. It is a big deal (trust me I know), but after I heard the story, I didn't really see what the big deal was regarding him carrying a baby. Although he may be transgender man, he still has the goods to carry a baby. I don't quite get why it would make big headlines, except for the discussion about gay or transgender parenting.