Self-help with a little help

[Jolyn]

I'm a strong proponent of self-help, as well as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and medications for people with depression and anxiety disorders. In my last blog and some I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I discussed psychiatric rehabilitation too, but that's really for people with recurrent and severe forms of these and other mental health disorders. The key to self-help is setting goals and following them. Sounds easy, right? Wrong, but you might do best with some help with your self-help.

Lack of energy, focus, time or hope are all possible symptoms of depression, and sometimes of anxiety disorders too. There's no doubt that these symptoms can get in the way of self-help. I don't recommend self-help in lieu of medications, if needed, or instead of CBT or psychotherapy. Self-help is a great complementary approach, though, and it's far more than the old idea of pulling yourself up by the boot straps, especially if you get some assistance.

What may make the difference in whether you succeed at self-help is to involve someone who cares about you and has the time to help. A spouse, sibling, grown child, parent or close friend are all options. You might also consider asking your minister, rabbi or priest to help, if you have one. If you're seeing someone for counseling or psychotherapy, that person might be glad to help too. The important thing is to choose someone who can participate non-judgmentally, patiently and with commitment to your choices and best interests.

Tell the person what you want from them. This might include:

Helping you see what you might need to work on;
Helping you to create your self-help plan;
Reminding you of the strengths you have and can use to deal with depression or anxiety;
Sitting down with you once per week to see how you're doing on your plan;
Providing encouragement when you're having a hard time working your plan;
Helping you revise your plan if you feel overwhelmed by it or parts of it aren't working;
Reminding you to take it a day at a time;
Helping you stick to the plan long enough to know if it's working;
Giving you a pat on the back when you're following your plan; and
You might think of other reasonable ways they can help too.

Here's an excellent depression self-help page on HelpGuide. Here's another self-help guide on the MentalHelp site, that I wrote with Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., for almost any mental health disorder: See the plan examples too. Check out the list of self-help resources on the Anxieties page if you have one of the anxiety disorders. If you have symptoms of both depression and anxiety, you might want to mix and match what you think will work for you.

Still, you'll own your self-help plan and you're the one who will work it. That alone is cause for celebration!